A Fun Game to Cope With Family During the Holidays
Last Thanksgiving Cousin Bob decided to dance, after consuming way too much alcohol, on the table in the middle of dinner. Your aunt argued with your husband about politics and religion. Your children found a way to break your great aunt’s favorite crystal bowl, and your brother asked to borrow a couple hundred dollars to tide him over, again. If it seems like your extended family is serving up huge helpings of dysfunction along with the candied yams, read on.
Trying to change relatives, especially around the holidays, is a recipe for disaster. It never works, and it can add unnecessary stress and anxiety. One way to combat the need to manage everyone’s behavior and control the uncontrollable is to adjust your expectations by anticipating their usual behaviors. Martha Beck came up with a hilarious way to cope with holiday family mania (and maniacs), called Dysfunctional Family Bingo.
Ready?
Find one or two other players, such as a few of your best friends, and set a wager that the losers must buy the winner lunch. Adding the element of competition to this can make it even more fun.
Create your own bingo card by using the table feature in Word or by drawing a 5 x 5 grid, five lines down, and five lines across. Block out the middle square as a FREE SPACE. (See helpful photo, above, if you are a visual learner.)
Design your own BINGO card by coming up with 24 dysfunctional events that are likely to happen at the holiday event of your choice. “My nieces will say the food is gross, ” “Daphne will want to debate about the war,” “someone will start a belching contest,” and “Ivy will tell yet another story about how horrible her boyfriend is” are examples. Write one event on each blank square of the Bingo card.
Hide your Bingo card in your pocket or purse when you attend the family gathering. When each event actually occurs, discreetly mark off the corresponding square on your card.
The same rules of traditional Bingo apply. When you successfully mark off five squares in a row horizontally, vertically or diagonally, it’s time to notify your competitors. Use your cell phone to text the word BINGO to the other players, or call them privately and whisper BINGO into the phone. Collect your after holiday lunch prize and enjoy laughing about family antics.
Acknowledging that sometimes holidays aren’t as “Norman Rockwell” as we’d like them to be, see if you can try a new approach to holiday survival this year. By anticipating what will happen, and then choosing not to attempt to change your family, you can love and enjoy them as they are, in the moment. Have fun!
